Hey Reader,

In Venezuela, we have a phrase for being truly, deeply scared: “estoy cagada.” (I’ll let you look up the literal translation😆). That’s exactly where I am right now.

If you’re new here: I’m currently 31 weeks pregnant.

And that means that in less than nine weeks, a tiny human arrives, and I feel nowhere near ready. Cero. Zilch. Nada.

The nursery is a room full of unopened boxes. The registry is half-done. He still doesn’t have a name. I just found out this past week that I need to get two vaccines (I got the first one today). I’m not sure if I want a baby shower. And the work I promised myself I’d wrap up before he comes is… “in process.”

Then there’s the part I don’t say out loud much: I’m scared of the birth and postpartum period. I’m scared of the pain and of not knowing what my body will do. And I’m scared of the 'after'. Breastfeeding. Not sleeping. Healing. Keeping a brand-new person alive when I’ve never done it before.

I know my schedule will change. My sleep, my work, my body, my workouts, my hobbies, all of it. I know that. But knowing something is coming and actually living it are two very different things.

What’s really keeping me spinning

It isn’t just one decision. It’s all of them. Coming together at the same time.

Every choice about the room, the registry, the baby, next year, and what I do next with my work has secretly been carrying one huge question: What will my life look like?

And I know I can’t truly answer it either. Nobody can.

So every small choice starts to feel permanent. I research, compare, save options, and second-guess myself every step of the way. I build plans for the newborn stage, the toddler stage, and every version of our family I can imagine. I tell myself it’s preparing. Mostly, I know, it’s fear looking for a guarantee.

Here’s what I’m slowly remembering:

Maybe you’re not having a baby. You might be facing a new job, a move, an idea you want to launch, or a relationship that’s changing. But if you’ve ever stalled because one choice felt like it had to solve your entire future, you know this feeling.

A decision can be sincere in the moment without it needing to be permanent.

You learn to swim in the water

I heard this phrase recently, and I keep coming back to it: You can’t learn to swim from the shore.

You can read about it, watch videos, and plan your strokes. But at some point you have to get in the lake and splash around. Some days you’ll swallow more water than you’d like. Some days you’ll feel like you’re sinking. Some days you won't feel prepared for it. But that’s exactly how you learn to float, and eventually, how you learn to move with the water instead of against it.

That's how you learn to swim.

I don’t have a plan for all of this (and yes, that part I think will always feel scary). What I do have is the same thing that’s carried me through every other big change in my life: small steps, every day.

Because I know and truly believe that the path shows up as you walk it.

Before your week starts...

This past week, these are the questions I have been reflecting and thinking about and I wanted to share them with you in case they may also resonate with you.

Take five quiet minutes to answer these:

1. What is already here that I haven’t stopped to enjoy?
2. What have I been thinking about changing instead of actually changing?
3. What is this moment asking me to transform?
4. What does this decision need to support in the next 90 days, not "forever"?

Honestly, question 3 is the one hitting me the hardest right now because I know that this moment is asking me to transform into the next version of me that can hold having and enjoying a family. And letting go of the things that won't fit with that reality anymore.

I’d love to hear yours. Hit reply with NEXT SEASON and finish one of these:

You don’t need to know whether this choice will still fit the person you’ll be five years from now. You only need to know whether it supports the person and the life you’re responsible for creating today.

P.S.: I’m still scared. I’m also getting in the water anyway, one season at a time.

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